i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
