the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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