Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
