I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
