Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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