I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
