You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
