Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
