i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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