Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
