Dude my mom stole all your condoms
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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