You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
