I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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