Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
