i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
