I need help removing her.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
