He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
