dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
