Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
