Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize