but the lizard people decide everything anyway
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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