Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I just blew my weed a kiss
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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