He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
