Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Randomize
