My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
