My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
