OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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