tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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