Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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