An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
