we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
