I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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