in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
