Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
