You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
