I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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