i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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