Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
either way he was missing a nipple.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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