my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i just google imaged poop.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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