...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
