After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
