come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
A+ Viking dick
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
