dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
