i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
50% drunk capacity currently
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
