I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I've blown a few things in my day
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
