i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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