It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
