we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
