Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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