I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
