u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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