bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
