This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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