I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
