it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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